We're looking for the "Dogs Doo-dahs"
Due to the ongoing success of DogsDogsDogs, the company are looking to expand their team. Holly Spaniel, the Chief Technical Dog and Berry Labrador the Chief Barketing Officer are on the lookout for talented mutts that can bring something new to the business. There are lots of exciting opportunities for hard-working financial types who enjoy the day-to-day cut and thrust of commercial dog supplies.
Financial Controller or Doughberman (30,000 bones p/a)
An exciting opportunity has arisen for a fun-loving, ball-chasing, hard-working pup to run the financial department. You will be responsible for the financial department of DogsDogsDogs and report directly to Holly and Berry, depending on who is awake at the time. A working knowledge of dog beds, toys, leads and collars is useful. On the job training can be provided but will not include controlling your bladder. We have just had new carpets and you will be asked to leave immediately if you soil them in any way (this includes drool!)
There will be opportunities to try out new products and go on regular walks around the Shaftesbury office. Please bring your own supply of poo bags
You will be responsible for the following:
- Oversee all company accounts and investments.
- Create monthly and annual reports to identify results, trends, and financial forecasts
- Manage cash flow by tracking transactions and regularly reviewing internal reports
- Supervise and manage financial department staff, including accountants and financial assistants
Other requirements include:
Ability to play with other dogs. No scenting or mating during work hours.
Bonuses: Regular sleeping hours during the day. 3 weeks in kennels each year. Weekend break to the House of Hounds with your partner if you achieve target. More treats than you can shake a stick at.
The following breeds cannot apply:
Dalmatians - In our experience, they can't count beyond 100.
Labradors - Lack of concentration, easily distracted by food.
Spaniels - As above, good at focusing but its mainly pheasants.
Chocolate Labradors - Seriously, you need to ask?
Pinschers - The name says it all....
At the interview, you may be required to take part in a few tests. These include ignoring the bouncing ball, avoiding paying unnecessary attention to your own nether regions in public, not jumping up at customers and how to get back to work after an hour nap.
Interested applicants are asked to send their woofsume (CV or Canine Versatility) through to firstname.lastname@example.org along with a covering paw-print and relevant career history.